a little rumination at dawn

felt a bit of a bump, a tug backwards, a consideration of what i condsidered judgment from my father, and now, others. oh the shame of it all.

which may not have been the case. in the case of my father.

even to ruminate has to do with the past. with what i just ate. which recently has been a whole lotta chocolate.

dictionary says, : to chew again what has been chewed slightly and swallowed: chew the cud

fasting from what is not you, my Shaman said.

well, i could certainly use a little fasting. what's with the chocolate weight gain missy? the visits to Dandelion chocolate?

and why are you giving your 'space' to others -- occupy your space. sit in it and then keep the faith of whatcha wanna be. here and now. the more i occupy the space the bigger it gets and the less my fingers creep into other pies.

''now you see the world as it really is, keep going your own way letting everything pass through, eventually the beauty comes out to play because you have made space for it to reveal itself by no longer being occupied by the fear/drama/low self esteem/control of others. it becomes you, and your personal freedom designed to go, be, do any combination of you.''

here i go