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  • Writer's pictureSandra Lee

breaking the rules

the place was a mess. and likely to be that way for quite a while. her bills were stacked high, but caused no rapid heartbeat. emails waited and she was behind in ceramics class and she should be exercising but as usual she said fuck that noise... all in good time and get in line. the wanna be bf's were also stackin' up, on Ok Stupid! and other fishing lines. sending message after message and are you into younger guys and trying to send her cock shots. her attention was not diverted. she couldn't care less about the others who were tapping her on the shoulder and demanding an explanation. just why are you, you?? and yet she sang at the top of her lungs oh pretty baby let me looove yoooooo! oh yeah, she believed in love, and the real thing. she just didn't need it nor want it from anyone else. she already possessed it. she had bigger fish to fry. she was the big fish. the epiphany of sorts came to her in the shower. she mused briefly why most of her discussions between her true honey bunny and the other selves were in the shower. she didn't know and didn't mind that she didn't know. in fact, that was part of the knowing. that at times she didn't know... and was quite comfortable in that. ya know? yeah of course no one else got that. the farther she got on the road to freedom the less understanding there was from others. there were only more questions and arguments of what the word truth meant. as if that could be explained in plain english. she had long let go of the need of convincing others to check out the moon for themselves. she watched them thrash around in their own mire of consternation- and when she sometimes stretched out a hand it was usually ignored. she didn't take it personality, most people needed to hold onto their issues. what else would they worry about? she actually felt the tethers falling from her body and arms like slithering brown snakes. the sensation was sensational. she stood still as the warm water coursed down her skin. the big cloud of knowing came to her again. she saw so clearly in that big round blossoming suspended lavender white expanding moment that she was whole all-


powerful round pure light energy peace --like Neo, in the movie Matrix. the first one- where effortlessly he stopped the bullets by raising his hand calmly and said, No. and she said yes to what she really wanted.

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