wɔːkə baʊt

day one

i think it will be a year. but who knows.

i will try to write a little every day. can’t promise. as i never do. promise is just an obsolete and nonsensical term in my opinion.

anyway, this is what i am doing. going underground. withdrawing from the Matrix- well can anyone unplug completely? but gosh darn it i am going in…

already have smashed up most of my beliefs – or at least completely have questioned each one. still feels like not enough. just like my move to Sonoma. from the uber doober crowded and insanely priced Marin. i mean really, people! there ARE other places to live!! some insanely fantastic i’ve found, actually. like in a place so desolate that people look at you sideways with a snort when you mention it as a place to be.

but i won’ get on my soapbox just yet. oh that will come in time. don’t you worry.

but Sonoma as lovely as it is- there was often a minute where i contemplated and said out loud- i’m not sure it’s far enough.

and i’m not referring just out in the country more. tho that is a definite yes also. more country and more nature. let’s not get into the subject of traffic. that will be another soapbox time. let’s just all agree that at some point our souls have been lost as we slam on our brakes and curse the same soulless person who cut in front of us.

but it's so much more than that. i'm done. with the way i've been told is The Way. don't believe it anymore. haven't believed in The Way for a long long time.

time put your money where that purty mouth is! giddyup!

i will be doing with less. to make room for more. for something different. for stillness. silence. gaping caverns of nothing. the unknown. not afraid of the unknown and haven’t been for a good while.

i am relishing that first step.